Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
