he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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