Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
