you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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