im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize