he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
