You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
