Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
