Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
