So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
