dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
