the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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