you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
