dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Oh god it's open bar.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
