I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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