What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
