I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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