one might say we're banned from that church
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
