so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
