Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
