I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
