a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
