we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
