you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
