I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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