My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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