The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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