tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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