I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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