Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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