It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize