I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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