he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
