we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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