So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
