so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
