I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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