You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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