you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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