You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
