I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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