I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
