Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
