If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
