Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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