WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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