I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize