like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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