I'm eating all of the evidence.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
