i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
