You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
