there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
