He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
