Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
