What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
