I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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