He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize