how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
