apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
