i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If I die, sorry about rent.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
