I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
