It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
