i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
