these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize